When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
