Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
