the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
