these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize