I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
