im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You know, be my cock's hype man.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
