maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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