i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
