Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
