Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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