Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
