I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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