There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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