the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize