Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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