I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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