Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
