Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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