Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I see more hoeing in ur future
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