Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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