i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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