i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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