Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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