i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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