it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
