I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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