what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
