I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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