just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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