Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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