I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
