Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
