I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he thought i was a dude.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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