I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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