none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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