Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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