i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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