When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
