There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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