It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
