I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
try to milk me bitch
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