Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
