Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
