Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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