Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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