I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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