Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
my poor anus
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
