How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I understand Curling. That high.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
