just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
