that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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