friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It's just like the Real World with babies
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
