Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize