Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
