Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
