that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
