the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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