Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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