billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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