Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
