why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize